Why Youth Apostles?

Tuesday nights are my community nights with Youth Apostles and they range from us gathering for presentations on youth ministry, Christian formation, adoration of the blessed sacrament, sharing in our small groups, and then occasionally gathering as a community and sharing some of the bigger inspirations about what has been happening or the vision of where community is headed.

Tonight I was asked to be one of the members to present a reflection of why I've made my recent commitment to Youth Apostles. When I first had this question run through my head I was thinking that it was asking if not Youth Apostles then what community would I have chosen to become a part of. I thought about that for a little bit and couldn't really come up with a line of thought that really could fill up up 2 or 3 minutes of time or seemed very relevant or interesting. My answer to that would have been I wasn't really looking for more community to be involved in. I have a very large and loving family unit and grew up in a very active parish and with in the Knights of Columbus community there.

The directions that my thoughts lead me was to think of how did I come to know and want to be a part of Youth Apostles and why have I stuck around? My story starts in my senior year of High School when the post conformation religious ed at All Saints turned into a youth group lead by a couple Youth Apostles (Rob Tessier, Rod Kresge, and Dave Brisow) that were new to the parish. At the time I was a very shy/reserved kinda guy; an obedient and somewhat faith filled Catholic, but with plenty of my own hangups and imperfections. I wasn't the type to divulge information about myself so that people would know who I am unless I was asked about it and I kept to myself and observed a lot more then I interacted.

That senior year in High School I signed up to go with the youth group on the pilgrimage to World Youth Day in Toronto, Canada and I'll admit the motivation was more self-centered then it was purely motivated from wanting an experience with other Catholics to be excited to celebrate my faith and dive in more deeply. I desired to meet Pope John Paul II and to travel to some place new and to be even a little edgy by going somewhere without my parents that wasn't simply just walking down the streets to visit friends. I met a few more Youth Apostles on that trip by name and observation, noting to myself that these guys were decent fun people, but that is about as far as that thought process went at the time. I went off to my first year of college at Virginia Tech and returned that summer to work on building the sets for the theater ministry that started up the summer prior that I enjoyed doing the previous year.

That summer I also went to my first couple Youth Apostles meetings and got to see the community in a bit more of a full on setting. Later in the fall of that year Fr. David gave me a call saying that he was going to be in Blacksburg visiting some people and invited me to have dinner. We shared some good conversation and he invited me to come on a retreat that the community was having that winter break. I was open to the idea and so there I was just after the New Years celebration of 2004 on my first silent retreat with a bunch of other guys taking sometime to get to know ourselves and God in a fairly intense way; it was an Ignatian retreat after all. That first retreat was hard with getting use to the silence and the schedule that was fairly rigorous 7am-11pm, but it really opened my eyes to what this community was about. These guys were serious about their faith, their love for one another, and their service to the youth. To me that was very inspiring at the time, even with my difficulties of focusing on that first retreat and getting into the methodology of it.

In my reflection last weekend while I was with the GMU CCM on beach retreat, what came to mind more and more was why I've stuck around with Youth Apostles. Like I said that first retreat was very inspiring to me and in the years that I was a candidate I learned more of the communities charisms and vision for ministry and community. It's always been very clear and natural to me that I belong here and this is the path that God has created for me. I'm still discerning my vocation, but I feel that through community, formation, and ministry with Youth Apostles that it will be made perfectly clear to me. It hasn't been easy for me, but that's because I've been relying on myself all too much and I need to depend more on Him.

Recently in my formation I've been studying about the spiritual aspects of the evangelical counsels. The disciplines as I'm to live them in Youth Apostles are easy to understand and they're layed out in black and white for me in the guidelines, but the spiritual way of living them is more of a gospel way of living my life and has more to do with how God has been calling me to live them though the example of Jesus Christ.

Looking at the counsels the one that I see as the biggest gut check for me has been chastity and not for the obvious conclusions that are drawn with no dating, marriage, or sex. Those 3 things certainly are very good and very appealing, and no doubt will cause me trouble, but the way the light bulb went off the other day to inform me was that to live chastity is to love like Christ loved. Christ loved everyone very specifically with an undivided heart, accepted all of their hangups, loved them where they were at the time, and called them out through his love to a life much greater and life giving. I can be a loving guy, but yikes I'm going to need some serious help and accountability to even be mistaken for being in the same arena as Christ.

I see this community as offering to me the challenge and accountability to live a Christ like celibacy by supporting me in an open, honest, and upfront way. My brothers show their love for me and they also give me an example of how to love others in the way they live and minister.

It's been one week...

'since you've looked at me,' but that wasn't what I was going for.

It has been just over a week now that I've been trying to live a new commitment as a lay-consecrated man in Youth Apostles. To those that already know me well I can imagine they perceive me quite differently than some of the students or staff at George Mason that are now meeting me for the first time. Knowing someone sure makes it easier, most of the time, to love them and or feel connected in their joys and sufferings. I don't think a person is at a disadvantage in the other case it's just different.

As many of you probably do I spend a good bit of time and energy into thinking, working, and living in a manner that is aware of how people perceive me. At points that has helped me in discerning my vocation and in other ways it has set me back or at least uncovered something I wasn't looking for. This idea of perception has taken hold of a great deal of my thoughts this week as I try to answer to others and to myself "how is this week going?" I'm very tempted to pull back into my comfortable world of being a natural introvert and not worrying so much about putting myself out there for the sake of others in ways that I'm not naturally comfortable with. I know that I'm very comfortable and gifted by God in working with my hands and my mindset to build things and be very calm and introspective in times when things are pretty crazy, but over the past 6 or 7 years God has been gently calling me out to be more generous with those gifts in a more outward manner and to something more.

As I begin this year of discernment my thoughts are quickly drawn back to what I said I would be committing myself to. For me the only way I really feel called to answer that question about "how is the first week of consecration going?" is through how I'm beginning to be aware of what it means to live my commitment and how I've responded.

1 yr Temporary Consecrated Full Member Commitment

Do you accept to be poor that others may be enriched?

Response: I do and I promise to live a life of simplicity, generosity, and concern for others.

Do you accept to be celibate as the ultimate expression of an undivided heart working for the sake of the Kingdom of heaven?

Response: I do and I promise to love others for their own sake rather than my own pleasure.

Do you accept to be obedient to the Will of the Father, to the Magisterium of the Church and to the established authority of the Youth Apostles Institute?

Response: I do and I promise to free my will from personal likes or selfish concerns, in order to be prompt to follow Christ and be close to Him.

Do you promise to live in the truth which leads to faith, the freedom which leads to hope and the care which leads to charity?

Response: I do and I promise to be honest, to be disciplined, and to show deep concern for youth.

This week was full of blessings, grace, and struggles all of which have aided in a great first week. I could have done a better job preparing for where I'm at now with different transitional stuff, which were mostly financial matters to settle and administrative items at George Mason. I've really enjoyed the time spend at Mason getting to know the Catholic Community there, it's a blessing to be in a place where you have so many well grounded people fired up about their faith and ready to reach out to others. Formation wise this month I'm going through our Internal Guidelines for Consecrated life and reading a book called 'To Love, to Share, to Serve: Challenges to a Religious' by L. Patrick Carroll, S.J. and have been enjoying both.

700 + 8,000 = 8,700ish

We pulled into the Youth Apostles House in McLean before midnight and the road trip came to an end! Well, at least for now – Paul leaves for Atlanta and the Virginia Tech v. Alabama game before dawn on Saturday morning! But the main trip is over. We drove about 700 miles yesterday and put a total of 8,700 miles on the GOLF Cart in 27 days. Phew! Time for another oil change! What a great trip!

St. Louis

I love the Arch. I’ve visited it twice, and both times I burst out laughing when I stood beneath it. I can’t help it – it’s so audacious it cracks me up. Everyone knows what it looks like; you can probably conjure up an image in your mind’s eye right now. But what you can’t appreciate until you stand beneath it is just how huge it is. It’s big enough to straddle nearly every building in the city! It tops out at over 600’. Plus it tapers as it goes up, which creates the illusion that it’s even taller when you stand under it and look straight up. Add to that the fact that it’s covered in shiny stainless steel (who doesn’t love shiny stuff?), and that it’s triangular. When all that finally registers in my brain it causes spontaneous laughter – like the kind you get when you think the fireworks just had their big finish and suddenly they get even bigger! Love it!

And if that isn’t crazy enough, there’s an entire museum, including two movie theaters, in the underground space beneath the monument. Plus you can ride these whacky train-roller coaster-elevator cars up to the top and look out. The whole thing is remarkable. I still smile when I think about it.

City Museum perfectly captures that joyful feeling and amplifies it. Imagine a museum designed by a 12 year-old boy. It has absolutely no purpose! No seriously – there are no information boxes, wall text, or other descriptions; they don’t even give you a map when you enter! You just start wandering around and exploring. If the City Museum has a Mission Statement it probably goes like this: Help people have fun and leave the education to the other museums!

So what would a 12 year-old boy come up with? Well, he’d probably gut the building and build a series of interconnected caves that cover three floors and wrap around the building’s roof-to-floor atrium, with dark halls, dead-ends, passages that you have to craw through, and slides connecting the levels. If he put in a fish tank it would have cool stuff like turtles and catfish.

The caves are just the start. The interior stairways have industrial rollers for banisters (picture the end of the x-ray machine at the airport – they used those rollers your bags slide down, but put them sideways to act as banisters). Each is painted in different crazy patterns and colors. As you go up or down you run your hands along the banisters and they all spin creating fun, wild patterns (yes I did this, several times!). On one floor there’s an indoor skate park. Another floor is full of beautiful architectural relics and salvaged pieces. The closest thing to a teaching moment I saw was a wall showing different decorations used on masonry and door knobs ("these knobs have a 4-part pattern, these have a 5-part pattern," etc). There’s a man refurbishing a pipe organ encircled by a toy train large enough for kids to ride .

Hidden away in corners on most floors are snack bars or coffee counters. If you look you’ll also find old couches or tables and chairs scattered around. Basically, Moms and Dads can sit down and watch the madness from a safe distance (if they aren’t climbing through the caves or going down the slides!). On one floor we found a huge thrift shop. Old tuxedo jackets? Check. Old band uniforms? Check. Wedding dresses? Check.

And that’s only the inside. The coolest feature of the City Museum is the tricked-out, over-caffeinated, death-defying jungle gym outside. Again, think about this from the perspective of a 12 year-old: it includes not one but two (!) old fighter jets, plus a fire truck! All three suspended between one and three stories above ground. There are also gazebos, old construction cranes, and other whacky urban detritus, most of which is suspended above ground and connected by bridges and paths constructed with re-bar and wire fencing. Where an adult would put stairs they installed sliding boards – some descending two or three stories. It’s nuts. And yes or course I was on that thing like stink on a dog! My thinking was if this thing wasn’t safe someone would have died and it would have been shut down by now (perhaps flawed logic but it worked for me). It was a blast!

There’s also some stuff on the roof of the building but we didn’t make it up there. However, I wouldn’t be surprised if it included a trampoline and bungie cords – it’s that kind of place.

So, yes, I climbed all over that thing like a monkey, and no, I was not the only adult doing it. I did see one Dad get stuck in a stairway – not because of his girth but because he was too long to get out at the top (there are few straight lines here – remember, think like a 12 year-old)! I even skinned my elbow on one of the slides! Yeah baby! Did I learn anything? Nope. Do I care? As if. If you go to St. Louis, go to the City Museum. If possible, go on a weekday so you won’t have to share it with too many kids!

After the City Museum we made our way to the Cathedral-Basilica of St. Louis for Noon Mass. The cornerstone was laid about 100 years ago and the building was consecrated in 1926. It’s a beautiful sanctuary covered from floor to ceiling (literally) with mosaics. They are extraordinary! They include the Bible scenes you would expect to see in a Basilica (Resurrection, Pentecost, etc) but also include local history like Native Americans and the early explorers in the west. The mosaic behind the main altar includes two deer! It’s a beautiful sanctuary and worth a visit when you’re in STL.

After Mass we went to Sweetie Pie’s for an awesome lunch. It took a month, but Paul has finally turned me into a lover of local cuisine. We drove across the country and back without eating at McD’s, BK, or the usual suspects. It sounded crazy at the start, but I now see the brilliance of the plan. It was awesome – we ate well, had fun, and met some cool people!

Alvaton, KY

I still owe you a description the fun we had in St. Louis, but I was having too much fun in Kentucky last night to pull out the laptop.  Paul and I stopped in Alvaton, outside of Bowling Green, to visit with my sister and most of her family.  We stayed with Rob, Leslie and Brock, who made us feel right at home and threw a big party for the gang last night.  Mike and Steph and their boys Will and Benjamin (just four weeks old!) were here, as were my sister and brother-in-law Cindy and Max.  I don’t get down to Kentucky as often as I’d like, so it was great fun to hang out.

Rob fixed up ribs on the grill last night and we also ordered some pizza as a supplement.  Cindy brought over a chocolate pie and other sweet goodness.  Then Rob unveiled his newest creation: grilled donuts.  On man, he’s on to something there.  They are currently in there frying up eggs and bacon to fuel our longest drive of the trip – back home via Blacksburg and dinner with the guys at Tech.

Sweetie Pie

We finally were able to incorporate one of the spots from the show Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives from the Food Network. While we were in St Louis today we stopped at a place called Sweetie Pie at the Mangrove that serves up some good ole comfort/soul food Mississippi style. All the food we picked out was ridiculous...smothered pork, mac n cheese, mashed potatoes w/ gravy, chicken wings, yams, and okra w/ tomatoes. The sweet tea was even brewed and crafted properly. We almost both needed to take naps afterwards and probably still will.

Chip will report on the City Museum and the Cathedral-Basilica of St Louis. My quick review of City Museum is that it is entirely out of the box and a lot of fun for kids and adults. It was pretty empty in the place so we had the run of the mill. The Cathedral (which rounds us out at 10) was very impressive...a ton of beautifully done mosaics that Incorporated scripture teachings and scenes from the Bible and is fairly world renown and historic. Check it out if you're ever in St. Louis.

Oh Pappy!

Sweet cheesy bananas that was a lot of food!  The man is trying to kill me!  Our first clue was when the waitress brought out the four trays of food and then four more empty trays for us to divide the food up among our party.  Um, party of two. 

But here’s the thing, it was incredibly good!  I don’t even eat ribs and I loved these – I’d probably eat them for breakfast!  The pork, in fact all of the animals we consumed, was tender and tasty – basically perfect.  The sauces were a bit sweet but darned good.  Even the deep fried corn on the cob was good.  And oh man don’t get me started about the fried sweet potatoes.  Any time fries come with brown sugar you know Chip is in his happy place.

This place is serious – we had to wait in line for ten minutes to order dinner…at 4:45!  They only cook a certain amount of BBQ each night and regularly run out, so the locals know to get here early.  As we were pulling up there was a guy in the parking lot taking pictures of the building and the smoker – Paul’s stunt double! 

I can’t believe I just wrote several paragraphs about food – that’s Paul’s job!  But that’s how much I enjoyed dinner.  Pappy’s was a great place to eat, a wonderful to start our victory lap on the final leg of the trip, and just what we needed tonight. 

Now we need to go walk it off!  I’ve got the Arch over my right shoulder, the Mississippi River right in front of me, and St. Louis at my back.  The guys in the car next to us are clearly headed to the Cardinals v. Brewers game – which is a good walk from here, but it’s a beautiful night and probably a cheaper parking lot so who can blame them?  I promise to tell you all about it! 

Quick shout out to John and Eun Young and the kids for a great meal last night (my first, but certainly not my last, Korean meal!) and for a really enjoyable visit.  Thanks for making me feel so welcome – and for not making me use the hot sauce!  Thanks to Jess for the great lunch.  It sounds like an incredible ministry and we will keep you in our prayers.

Oh, and a quick PS from the Denver stop on the tour:  we didn’t have time to visit the world’s first Chipotle restaurant, which is located in Denver near the University of Denver campus.  Sorry Jimmy!  Many of you will know understand the level of sacrifice that represents for me.  Actually, Paul has opened my eyes to some great eats over the past month, so Chipotle can wait till we get home!

Hold the phone...grab a snack...and put your fat pants on

If you've ever watched the travel channel you may have seen the show Man vs Food and on one of the episodes Adam walks into a place in St Louis, MO called Pappy's. He then orders the Big Ben (a full rack of dry rubbed ribs, a 1/4 Chicken, a Beef Brisket Sandwich, a Pulled Pork Sandwich, and 4 sides) AND a Frito Pie (a bed of Frito's covered in pulled pork, sweet baked beans, and cheese). If you can't imagine how much food that is just check out the picture b/c that's exactly what we got! The sides we ordered were 2 Deep Fried Corn on the Cob, sweet BBQ baked beans, and sweet potato fries. That concoction is called the "Adam" Bomb and dang is it a meal for 2 (actually recommended for 4 but no one 'met me in St Louie').

• The ribs were AS good if not slightly better then the one's I got at Jim Neely's Interstate BBQ in Memphis, TN. As the owner Mike "Smokey" Emerson states: “We’ve got nothing to hide so the sauce is on the side!” They're a dry rib rub style not crusted just dusted, and claim to be a Memphis style BBQ joint. They're rated number 1 in St Louis so I'm not sure why they don't just claim St Louis style for themselves.
• The sauces were just ok (I think Neely's has the leg up in that department as theirs was better balanced). You can choose from three different sauces: Original, Sweet, and Hot. The original I didn't really care much for, the sweet was very thick and very sweet (I think this is what they cooked the beans in and why they claim to be Memphis style), and the Hot had some heat was slightly sweet but nothing on the heat level of a Texas BBQ sauce and didn't really have the flavor to back it being such a medium sauce.
• The Beef Brisket was pretty good (they could at least hangout in Texas...maybe), but when your comparison is Smitty's Market in Lockhart, TX and the City Market in Luling, TX it's hard to really soar to the heights of Texas pit BBQ.
• The Pulled Pork was very succulent and smokey and went well with the Hot BBQ Sauce...I don't think they were trying to give North Carolina a run for their money b/c I didn't taste nor see any vinegar in the place.
• The Chicken was good but didn't really seem very special and was slightly ignored b/c we wanted to make sure the rest of the meat was handled with care.
• The Deep Fried Corn on the Cob was good, but I think a properly handled and grilled sweet corn on the cob is where it's at.
• The BBQ Baked Beans were tasty and very very sweet. I don't have a sweet tooth so I didn't desire to gobble them up.
• The Sweet Potato Fries were good and sweet even crusted with a little suga, but not too sweet and not too crispy or too soggy.
• The Frito Pie was pretty good, but I think I would have desired more of it if the beans hadn't of been so sweet.

I didn't however forget about the meal that I had last night, I just forgot to take pictures of it. (Sorry) Eun Young made Korean lettuce wraps that had bean sprouts, rice pasta, kimchi, roasted garlic, and marinated bacon; which rocked the house. She had also made some Vietnamese summer rolls that were appropriately nicknamed Vietnamese burritos b/c of her conquest to place a lot of good stuff inside of them.

It was nice to get to spend another night with John, Eun Young, Donna, and the twins Anna and Jenna. I really hope I get to see more of them while their on this side of the pond. We also spent the morning at their house and then headed into Kansas City on the Missouri side to visit with my friend Jess who I met around the same time as Eric and Logan doing ministry at All Saints. Jess is volunteering with a new organization called A Simple House, which started a couple years ago in DC but has since branched out to Kansas City this past January. A Simple House serves project and Section 8 neighborhoods. That involves meeting people in their neighborhoods and in their homes, and it is focused on the parents instead of the children. Primarily through home visits by pairs of volunteers, and the visits usually include counseling, prayer, bible study, or delivering groceries. Check them out if you're interested as they're still a fairly budding outreach to the poor, but a great group from the people I got to meet today.

We're off to get a view of the city tonight from the Gateway Arch and then checkout the City Museum tomorrow morning before heading down to Bowling Green, KY to meet some of Chip's extended family.