'since you've looked at me,' but that wasn't what I was going for.
It has been just over a week now that I've been trying to live a new commitment as a lay-consecrated man in Youth Apostles. To those that already know me well I can imagine they perceive me quite differently than some of the students or staff at George Mason that are now meeting me for the first time. Knowing someone sure makes it easier, most of the time, to love them and or feel connected in their joys and sufferings. I don't think a person is at a disadvantage in the other case it's just different.
As many of you probably do I spend a good bit of time and energy into thinking, working, and living in a manner that is aware of how people perceive me. At points that has helped me in discerning my vocation and in other ways it has set me back or at least uncovered something I wasn't looking for. This idea of perception has taken hold of a great deal of my thoughts this week as I try to answer to others and to myself "how is this week going?" I'm very tempted to pull back into my comfortable world of being a natural introvert and not worrying so much about putting myself out there for the sake of others in ways that I'm not naturally comfortable with. I know that I'm very comfortable and gifted by God in working with my hands and my mindset to build things and be very calm and introspective in times when things are pretty crazy, but over the past 6 or 7 years God has been gently calling me out to be more generous with those gifts in a more outward manner and to something more.
As I begin this year of discernment my thoughts are quickly drawn back to what I said I would be committing myself to. For me the only way I really feel called to answer that question about "how is the first week of consecration going?" is through how I'm beginning to be aware of what it means to live my commitment and how I've responded.
1 yr Temporary Consecrated Full Member Commitment
It has been just over a week now that I've been trying to live a new commitment as a lay-consecrated man in Youth Apostles. To those that already know me well I can imagine they perceive me quite differently than some of the students or staff at George Mason that are now meeting me for the first time. Knowing someone sure makes it easier, most of the time, to love them and or feel connected in their joys and sufferings. I don't think a person is at a disadvantage in the other case it's just different.
As many of you probably do I spend a good bit of time and energy into thinking, working, and living in a manner that is aware of how people perceive me. At points that has helped me in discerning my vocation and in other ways it has set me back or at least uncovered something I wasn't looking for. This idea of perception has taken hold of a great deal of my thoughts this week as I try to answer to others and to myself "how is this week going?" I'm very tempted to pull back into my comfortable world of being a natural introvert and not worrying so much about putting myself out there for the sake of others in ways that I'm not naturally comfortable with. I know that I'm very comfortable and gifted by God in working with my hands and my mindset to build things and be very calm and introspective in times when things are pretty crazy, but over the past 6 or 7 years God has been gently calling me out to be more generous with those gifts in a more outward manner and to something more.
As I begin this year of discernment my thoughts are quickly drawn back to what I said I would be committing myself to. For me the only way I really feel called to answer that question about "how is the first week of consecration going?" is through how I'm beginning to be aware of what it means to live my commitment and how I've responded.
1 yr Temporary Consecrated Full Member Commitment
Do you accept to be poor that others may be enriched?
Response: I do and I promise to live a life of simplicity, generosity, and concern for others.
Do you accept to be celibate as the ultimate expression of an undivided heart working for the sake of the Kingdom of heaven?
Response: I do and I promise to love others for their own sake rather than my own pleasure.
Do you accept to be obedient to the Will of the Father, to the Magisterium of the Church and to the established authority of the Youth Apostles Institute?
Response: I do and I promise to free my will from personal likes or selfish concerns, in order to be prompt to follow Christ and be close to Him.
Do you promise to live in the truth which leads to faith, the freedom which leads to hope and the care which leads to charity?
Response: I do and I promise to be honest, to be disciplined, and to show deep concern for youth.
This week was full of blessings, grace, and struggles all of which have aided in a great first week. I could have done a better job preparing for where I'm at now with different transitional stuff, which were mostly financial matters to settle and administrative items at George Mason. I've really enjoyed the time spend at Mason getting to know the Catholic Community there, it's a blessing to be in a place where you have so many well grounded people fired up about their faith and ready to reach out to others. Formation wise this month I'm going through our Internal Guidelines for Consecrated life and reading a book called 'To Love, to Share, to Serve: Challenges to a Religious' by L. Patrick Carroll, S.J. and have been enjoying both.
This week was full of blessings, grace, and struggles all of which have aided in a great first week. I could have done a better job preparing for where I'm at now with different transitional stuff, which were mostly financial matters to settle and administrative items at George Mason. I've really enjoyed the time spend at Mason getting to know the Catholic Community there, it's a blessing to be in a place where you have so many well grounded people fired up about their faith and ready to reach out to others. Formation wise this month I'm going through our Internal Guidelines for Consecrated life and reading a book called 'To Love, to Share, to Serve: Challenges to a Religious' by L. Patrick Carroll, S.J. and have been enjoying both.
You inspire me as a consecrated brother in community! Thanks for your support and your example of living the commitments we made. I'm so thankful to have you on this journey with me. Peace!
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