A Case of the Mondays

This morning was unlike most Monday mornings for me. Instead of taking 3 or more hits of the snooze button on my alarm clock I only took one and felt somewhat rested. Normally my Monday mornings are a bear b/c I get home so late from ministry on Sunday nights ~1am, and the latest I can really be sleeping is around 715 am so I can hopefully be in the chapel for Holy Hour at 730. I have a bad habit of being a couple minutes late and I end up only have a Holy fifty minutes. I’ve taken to strategize ways to combat my sleepiness and have found that a short brisk walk in the cold air usually shakes things up well enough to keep myself from falling back asleep in the chapel. It’s difficult sometimes since quieting my mind and body for prayer sets me up for being relaxed and ready to sleep some more.

I’ve come to know that my role in prayer is to simply clear out all the nonsense, rid myself of distractions, and be waiting in hopeful expectation for God to make the encounter. That’s what I’ve come to know through reading books on prayer and spirituality and my own experiences of honest encounters with God, sometimes a good day of prayer is simply being able to clear my mind of distractions and spend some good time being present with God in the Blessed Sacrament. There are also days when I have a good bit on my mind and I have to learn to be submissive to God’s will and put those things away trusting that God has a plan for them and if and when he required some cooperation from me he’ll let me know, but for now I need to be working on clearing out the things that don’t matter so God can continue His work of forming me.

I’m currently reading a book by Fr. Benedict Groeschel, CFR entitled ‘Stumbling Blocks or Stepping Stones: Spiritual Answers to Psychological Questions.’ I’ve really been digging it so far and have found the psychological approach to it very appealing. The premise is that for each chapter or essay it takes two spiritual vices and pairs them up with one virtue to aid in conquering those vices and applies how they work or develop in our human psyche. He also identifies human tendencies and how we normally mature and overcome them by our approach and trust in God’s work in our lives. I identified with a passage I read this morning that put words to the growth that I’ve been feeling over the past couple months:

If you want to love, you must be willing to be vulnerable. The Gospel makes
it clear that if you extend your hand often enough in a gesture of love, someone
will drive a nail through it. If you love Christ, you must walk the difficult
road to Calvary. But you will begin to see yourself borne by powers that are
beyond you. It may not be very noticeable at first. It may be no more that
patience with criticism, or extra generosity after you have done enough. You may
feel firmly drawn to God even when you can’t pray. You will begin to change. And
this is the effect of charity, which will overflow into a love for others that
goes beyond affection or pity.